First posted to alt.devilbunnies 9-24 March, 1999. Cathy conducts some hand-to-paw combat training for some Fudd bases. This is a continuation of the larger story thread that will take up a good portion of 1999.
&Copy;1999 by Scott Bernier
First HTML-ized 13 April, 1999 by Scott Bernier
As with the rest of my stories to date for 1999, this one is interconnected with the rest to some extent.
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|---|---|---|
| Training 2: Widebeam to All Fudd Bases | Training 5 | Training 8 |
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"Attention!"
Twelve Fudds came to attention with fireaxes over their right shoulders. Their CO walked past them, inspecting each in turn. He chewed one out for a speck of rust on his axe before stepping back in front of them.
"Today, we of the Wartburg Outpost Fudds have a special training guest...." the CO trailed off as the eyes of those in front of him trailed to the right as a brown devilbunny with sky-blue velvet earbows hopped into view from around the corner of the outpost building.
"Sir!" One of them blurted. "Devilbunny!" The rest of the line became tense as hands gripped their axes more tightly.
The CO turned and smiled. "Very good, Private. Good thing Agent Blake is on our side...Agent Blake, the troops are yours."
A few jaws dropped. "THE Major Blake?!" One of the others stammered.
The outpost alarm sounded as the bun (gigglefluff). It batted an eyelash at the private who asked. "Silly Fudd, I'm a doe." She groomed her dewlap cutely for a moment. "Major Steve Blake is my father. I am Cathy Blake, Army of Fudd Intelligence. My current assignment is to provide small Fudd outposts and bases like yours true hand-to-paw combat training....and" (shimmywiggle) "maybe something more after hours."
One of the Fudds on the end catwhistled only to find himself flat on his back with Cathy snarling on his chest, claws unsheathed touching his throat. The others stared in surprise.
"Like my father before me, Private, the number one lesson you will learn during my training is: NEVER" (STOMP!) "DROP" (STOMP!) "YOUR" (STOMP!) "GUARD" (STOMP!) "AROUND" (STOMP!) "A DEVILBUNNY!" (STOMP!) Cathy leaped off the Fudd. "Remain on the ground, you're dead. The rest will join you shortly..." She leapt in among them without further warning.
Two hours later, twelve exhausted, battered Fudds reported to the showers. Most were scratched-up, but to Cathy's credit, none of the scratches were from her claws. Four days later, all had a better grip on hand-to-paw combat and Cathy was on her way to the next outpost on her list.
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Training 2: Widebeam to all Fudd Bases
*****BUNNYSTUMPER DELUXE™ ENGAGED*****
This is just a quick note to all Fudd bases and outposts. It's not too late to have me schedule you in on my current list of bases to visit and provide a unique training opportunity to your troops in hand-to-paw combat.
I want to thank the outposts that have allowed me to visit so far and those I have yet to visit. It's not too late to sign-up if you haven't done so yet. You may send a message to AoF Intelligence who I report to, or to Major Blake in Maine and I will work your base into my schedule.
Agent Catherine Blake, Army of Fudd Intelligence
*****END ENCRYPTION*****
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"Sir, are you certain you want me to do this?" Cathy inquired.
The Fudd sergeant nodded.
"Very well," Cathy pulled the mini-Army of Fudd uniform off her fluffy body. "But I strongly recommend you shield yourself."
The sergeant poured himself a double shot of tequila, downed it and nodded.
(FFFFFFLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!) She ducked behind a couch next to his desk as directed as the base alarms sounded and then shut off as quickly as they had started. A half-dozen Fudds poured into the office and looked about. The sergeant pours another shot of tequila and drinks it.
"What is the meaning of this?" he asks the six Fudds.
They saluted and one spoke for the others. "Sgt Whittaker, sir. Base cuteness geometers went off, indicating an enemy target in your office, sir.." He tapped a pager-sized device in his hand. "But not anymore..."
Sgt Whittaker pours himself one more shot and smiles. "Are you sure?" On que, Cathy leaps out of her hiding spot and goes to work. All six are sprawled out on the floor quickly. She lands on Whittaker's desk as the six untangle themselves. Whittaker shakes his head. "I told her the lot of you were loosing your edge. There were six of you and she took you all out before a single one of you could bring your axe anywhere near her." Whittaker shook his head and downed the tequila shot. "Be thankful she's on our side." (pause) "Well? Get-up already..."
The six get up and give Cathy the evil eye.
"Our side, sir?" Whittaker fills them in on Cathy's story. "...For the next few days she will be providing you with a refresher course in hand-to-paw combat training. Dismissed!" Cathy leapt off the table. "Not you, Agent Blake, I want a few more words with you."
Cathy nodded as she put her uniform back on as the troops left. "What is on your mind, sir?"
"You will also provide me with some one-on-one training, Agent. However," Whittaker stared down at Cathy from across the desk. "if you should so much as nip any of us, I swear, I'll *POP* you quicker then you can blink. Do I make myself clear."
Cathy swallowed as she (salutefluff) "Clear as crystal, sir."
"Dismissed!"
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"OK, this time around, I'll be leaping towards your left side. When you're ready."
Whittaker nodded. Cathy faked left and leapt straight for Whittaker's throat. Whittaker brought the flat of the practice axe around barely in time to deflect Cathy. She tucked into a roll, turned around and barely dodged the axe coming at her. Once out of his reach, she rubbed the mitts covering her forepaws together. She checked to make sure both had enough polish on them.
"Excellent, Sir. You are remembering to look with your eyes." (fangygrin) She leapt again. This time she got past his guard and left a long polish streak on his right forearm. She shook her head as she looked up at the sergeant again, who dangled the marked arm to simulate battle wound. (perhapsfluff) "I spoke too soon..." She dodged his one handed swing.
"Damn you! Hold still!" Whittaker was turning red. "That's an order!"
"Sergeant, do you think a fluffer would do so? You asked for private lessons and I'm trying to help you, sir. Better here then in front of the troops. As you have seen, scoring 'Andersen' rating on a Gund Gun range still doesn't compare to real hand-to-paw."
Cathy quickly danced lightly on her paws to keep away from Whittaker's axe swings. "You must remember to mentally calm down in combat. If you loose your cool, you'll loose your life." She dodged some more. "And you'd probably do better if you cut down on the tequila."
Whittaker glared at Cathy and charged. "I will not change my habits, 'cause some fluffer says to!" He found himself face first on the floor of the mess hall where they had been practicing. The axe skittered out of his reach. He gasped for breath and rolled over as Cathy landed on his chest. She had quickly removed the pawmitts and tapped him lightly on the throat with one paw.
"You're spam." There was a pause as Whittaker contemplated reaching up with his hands and grabbing her. "Before you get uptight over this, sir, please note that I hope that when I leave your base, that I'm the one who's all battered and bruised. Otherwise, I haven't succeeded in doing my job." She leapt off his chest and groomed her dewlap briefly as he sat up. "Do you think I enjoy beating-up and bruising you and all the others? Being a bunny in the Army of Fudd puts one in seclusion enough in and by itself. Battering your fellow Fudds because they need the practice doesn't help matters much." She groomed her dewlap some more, looked-up and gave him the hurt-doe-eyes look a moment before bringing her emotions under control.
"Sorry, sir, I was beginning to slip too much into devilbunny mode there. I guess I have had enough for one evening. With your permission, I'm hitting the shower and bedding down."
Whittaker nodded as he got up. Cathy turned to leave.
"Agent Blake." Cathy turned back. "I'll think about what you've said." There was a long pause. "Thanks for your help."
"No, thank you for having me here. There are many bases that I know who could use...no, need a training course like this. But they won't let me visit for obvious reasons." Cathy subconsciously wiggled her tail as she hopped out of the mess hall.
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(scratch, scratch)
"Enter, Agent Blake." Cathy entered and (salutefluff).
"At ease, Agent. Shouldn't you be in the mess hall preparing for the day's lesson for my men?"
"They're having a hard time, sir. I fear some of them are actually afraid to strike me, even though we've been at this almost a week now." She glared at the shot glass on the desk briefly. "The moral of some is also very low since they can't seem to catch onto how to defend themselves against my attacks, and I've been going easy on them."
Whittaker pushed the glass aside as he answered the unasked question. "Only one shot so far, and it was a couple of hours ago."
(fangygrin) "Good. I think having their CO watching will make them take the training more seriously."
"Attention!" (STOMP!) "You're CO will be watching today." There were a few sighs and groans in the small crowd of six as Cathy tied the pawmitts on. "Jesse, you first."
The Fudd so named, stepped forward and Cathy leapt. He blocked the first two lunges, but quickly found himself on his back with Cathy on his chest.
(STOMP!) "Is that the best you can do?" She leaps of him. "We've been at this a week now, and all you can do is dodge two slow leaps???" Jesse shook all over.
"What are you afraid of, Private? Do you think showing fear is going to stop a bun from snacking on your toes?" She lashed-out and ripped the tip off his left boot.
"ENOUGH!" Whittaker bellowed as he pushed through the line with his axe in hand. "Quick belittling my men!"
(fangygrin) "Fair enough." She leaps at Whittaker.
They exchange several blows. At some point Cathy loses the pawmitts. Whittaker learns this quickly as red beads up on a minor scratch to his right arm. On her next pass, he knocks her out of the air with the flat of the axe. She rolls to one side before he can bring the blade to bare on her. They exchange several more blows Cathy gets lucky on one pass and slashes the axe handle clear through just below the head. On her next leap, Whittaker throws the handle at her, knocking her off her intended course and into his hands. He quickly positions his thumbs in the popping position. She struggles briefly until he puts a little pressure on his thumbs, just enough to show he had control of the situation.
(dewybambieyes) "Please don't *POP* me. I'm just a cute, innocent doe." (honestfluff)
"Don't try to cute me, fluffer." He applies a little more pressure.
(finefluff) "I yield," Cathy states calmly, dropping her cuteness attempt.
Whittaker hesitates for a moment, as he puts a little more pressure on his thumbs before getting himself under control. He drops Catherine.
She rubs her neck for a moment and turns to the others present. "I'm only one bunny. As you can see, your own CO can easily take me on and win. I've only got five days left here, and I expect the rest of you to be able to do likewise."
"Agent Blake will pick-up where she left off this afternoon." Whittaker added. "Dismissed!" The troops filed-out, all of whom glowed with new respect for their Sergeant.
"You did well, sir," Cathy stated after the others left as she retrieved her pawmitts.
"I almost *POP*ped you."
"You think I didn't know that?" (gigglefluff)
Whittaker was momentarily shocked into silence by her casual response. "No, you don't understand," he shook his head. "I almost decided to just *POP* you right then and there and be done with it. I had all I can do to stop myself."
"One of the hazards I knew I was going to be getting myself into when I accepted this assignment, sir. Death holds little fear over me." (gigglefluff) "But I doubt Dad would take it lightly, accident or not."
There was an awkward moment of silence. "Perhaps you were right about the tequila."
"I asked about that for I wanted to make sure I wouldn't be signing my death warrant. I'm not afraid of death, but I don't play the fool either. I planned to upset you from the start today. Jesse's in the worst shape of the six, the others are doing better, but not much. I had to make sure you were sober enough so that if you did grab me by the throat, you'd have enough control to not *POP* me." (fangygrin)
"As I said in your office, your troops were in need of a moral boost. What better way then to have their CO charge out and beat-up their 'bully' teacher in front of them? I held very, very little back, sir. You do fight a hell of a lot better when you're sober, sir."
She (shimmywiggled) at him and hopped out as he stared in dumbfounded disbelief. He didn't know if he should feel complemented or insulted.
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Whittaker walked into the bathroom, scrubbrush in one hand and holding his bathrobe closed with the other. Water dripped in the single shower stall of the outpost and the mirror was steamed over. Strange, he knew the last of his men had showered an hour previous. His hair stood-up on end as he felt he was being watched. He whirled around, holding the scrubbrush like an axe with both hands, letting the bathrobe swing wide open. Cathy sat there on a bench, brushing out her sleek, wet fur. She looked up at him with innocent eyes and (bashfulfluff) before covering them with her ears.
Whittaker guffahed while scrambling to redo his bathrobe. "Um, sorry, Agent, I didn't realize..."
"Well, I suppose I could have locked the door." (wink) "However, Sergeant, I'd be more concerned about those," she pointed to his bare feet and exposed toes, "then your manhood." (gigglefluff) She slowly and gently brushed her dewlap, briefly exposing a few of her teats. "It's not like our two species are compatible, but those toes..." her eyes moved back from his face towards his feet and her voice became distant. "Don't you believe any of those jokes about promotion through bedding with a rabbit..." She continued to brush herself, but her eyes remained focused on his feet.
Whittaker stared in disbelief. *Is she trying to seduce me???*
Cathy suddenly stopped brushing and glared at Whittaker. "What are you staring at? Are you deaf, Sergeant?" She was yelling now. "Cover your feet!" (STOMP!) There was a brief pause and then in a pleading voice she added, "Please..."
Whittaker jumped back in surprise, grabbed a couple of towels off a rack and wrapped one around each foot. He watched Cathy warily.
Cathy was close to tears. "I'm sorry, Sergeant...really, I am. It's just...just that..." (wearysighfluff) she hopped down from the bench and moved to the door putting more space between her and Whittaker. "It's just that sometimes, I have a hard time controlling the bunny urge. It doesn't matter how much training you go through, nor how much self-discipline you have. If you are a devilbunny, and you're tempted with fresh toes it's really, really hard to" she wiped saliva from her muzzle "...resist." She darted out the door before Whittaker could respond.
Cathy would get little sleep as the vision of Whittaker's toes would haunt her most of the night.
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Cathy rolled into a corner and recovered only to find an axe blade less then an inch from her muzzle. She panted heavily. The axe blade moved away from her and its wielder bowed slightly and backed off.
(pantfluff) "Excellent, Jenson. I actually need to catch my breath. Jesse, you're up in 30 minutes." Cathy grabbed a water bottle and hopped out of the mess hall/gym to get some fresh air. She was very proud of how Whittaker's men had turned around after the battle she and the Sergeant had. Now she knew she'd be leaving behind Fudds who were good at hand-to-paw. It made her feel good inside even more so then the last outpost she had been at for this one really, really needed it.
The thirty minutes passed by quickly and Cathy had returned promptly. She hadn't used the pawgloves at all this last day, and wasn't about to put them on, even for Jesse. She looked to Jesse. She decided she'd use a slightly different tactic on her last lesson of the day.
"Ready?" (nosetwitch)
Jesse nodded, axe gripped loosely in his hands.
Cathy sat back and stared up at Jesse. (bigbambieyes) "Then why do you need that big, ugly axe?" (shyfluff, bateyelashes) "I'm just a cute lonely, little doe..." She took one small hop towards him and (shimmywiggled). *I've got to remember to thank Whittaker for shutting down the geometers during training.*
Cathy groomed her dewlap in a non-threatening manner, rather almost seductively, while watching Jesse out of the corner of her eyes. Jesse's grip became looser and his eyes glazed over slightly. Just what she wanted to have happen.
She looked up again. (eyeblink) "That axe must be awful heavy. Why don't you put it down for a while, Jesse. Wouldn't you much rather prefer to stroke my soft, silky pelt..." she combed her paws through her dewlap and a part of her back. (encouragefluff) "You'll feel so MUCH better." (noddle) "We could be the bestest of friends! And" (shimmywiggle) "maybe I can help you get promoted through the fast track." She took one more small hop forward. Jesse's axe lowered a few inches and started slipping out of his hands.
Cathy leaps, bearing claws and fangs. Jesse snaps out of the near hypnotic stance just in time to deflect Cathy with the flat of the axe. Cathy rolls with the blow and comes out on her feet, only having to leap away as the axe blade follows her quickly.
"Excellent, Jesse, you're doing a hell of a lot better then a few days ago."
"Bloody fluffer! You tried to cute me!" Jesse was foaming at the mouth and wasn't about to let-up. "I swear to Elmer, you're going to pay for that!"
The axe came swinging at Cathy again. She just barely dodged it, this time it was the blade and not the flat flying at her. She must have finally lit Jesse's fuse. On her next pass, she got inside his guard and scratched his left arm lightly, not enough to draw blood, but enough to enrage Jesse further. He drove onward in his attack, forcing Cathy to retreat at every hop of the way. Three times she was swatted out of the air and three times she just barely dodged the follow-through of the axe. Jesse wasn't practicing anymore as he cursed her the entire way.
"Jesse, enough!" Cathy leapt aside as Jesse ignored her swinging again. She barely dodged the swing and drew blood from his right arm. He yelped and paused a moment. Cathy landed hard, turned, crouched in a defensive posture and watched the Fudd warily. "Enough, you've improved tremendously, Jesse."
Jesse looked at the blood on his arm, wiped it on his leg and swung at Cathy again, screaming in rage. "DDDDDIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!" He came on too quickly for her to leap aside, blood splattering on the wall.
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Jesse fell to his knees panting. He dropped the bloody axe and stared at Cathy. She lay on her side, breathing heavily, blood oozing from the wound in her right flank. He started to reach for her.
"Private! As you were!" Whittaker bellowed out. "Back away from Agent Blake."
Jesse didn't turn around. "I've already injured the fluffer, sir. Let me put it out of its misery."
"Come any closer to me, Private," Cathy spoke quietly, wincing in pain, "and you might be a bunny in the morning."
"Are you threatening me, fluffer!"
"She speaks the truth, Private," Whittaker stated calmly, but in a nononsense tone. "Jesse, she's a carrier of HLV, but not normal HLV. She's a carrier of a strain that's immune to antibunnies. Back away before you accidentally get some of her blood on your wounds or in your mouth."
Jesse quickly moved away in fear, but hatred still shown in his eyes.
Despite the pain, relief shown on Cathy's muzzle. (wincefluff) "Thank you, Jesse. Sergeant, I don't want any of your men to come near me. I will need a first aid kit. When I'm done tending to my injury, you'll need to hose down anything my blood has splattered on with BU or HVE to clean it up safely." She paused a moment gathering her strength. "You should also hose down Jesse ASAP for a little blood may have splattered on him. Be sure to get some HVE or BU or whaterver in his wounds too."
One of Whittaker's other men slid a med-kit across the floor to Cathy, keeping his distance. She got up on her paws and yelped as pain fired through the wound, but somehow hopped over to Jesse's axe. Positioning her body awkwardly, she bit into it as she poured rubbing alcohol over the wound. She gnashed through the handle in pain as the alcohol did its work. She then patted it dry with some cotton batting and applied a dressing. By the time the Supersoaker crew had arrived, she was wrapping gauze completely around her midsection, bandaging the wound shut. She then used more alcohol to clean the worst of the blood off the rest of her pelt and onto the floor. She then took slow, small hops, wincing in pain to get clear of the area the Supersoaker crew needed to hose down. Vanilla wafted in the air.
There was a worried look in Whittaker's eyes as Cathy approachs him. She sits up awkwardly and salutes. He returns the salute showing he is wearing a pair of latex gloves. She drops back down on all four paws. (wincefluff)
"Is there anything I can do?"
"It was bound to happen, Sergeant. Just make sure Jesse's alright. I'll heal. But I think my schedule just got set back a few...weeks." (pantfluff) "If you don't mind, I'm going to retire to my quart..." (woozyfluff) "..as soon as the room stops spin...spinning..." she collapsed.
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Bright light and a screaming headache greeted her. She moved and pain ached dully from her right flank. She moved her head slightly.
"Welcome back to the world of the living, Agent."
"How long?" she asked in a gravely voice.
"Only 18 hours. I called a vet in I could trust. You needed 8 stitches. He never thought he'd see the day when he'd be working to save a fluffer's life." Whittaker chuckled and Cathy smiled in return. "He said you'll be out 5-7 days. You aren't to move more then needed for bodily functions for the next two days. If you don't follow orders I am to strap you in place." Whittaker offered her a straw. She sipped some water.
"Blood contamination?" she asked when she was finished.
"Jesse's fine. The vet used gloves and we hosed down his clothes afterwards."
Cathy sighed in relief.
"I've already notified LT MacMalley and your father about the situation. There's nothing else for you to do then to get some rest, Agent Blake." He placed a bell on the floor next to the pillow Cathy was using for a bed. "If you need anything, just ring." Whittaker got up and left as Cathy drifted back to sleep.
End
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