Originally posted as part of the original Lubbock battle Oct '94-Jan '95 (Down in Lubbockand reposted in slightly editted form in the summer of 1996. This post was one of the posts on the newsgroup that led-up to the creation of the [PiG-13] system (PG-13 or under in all posts without a warning) now in place on the newsgroup. Whenever Eugene Pomerleau or Steve Blake refer to "The Spam Video" they are refering to the video filmed by the buns in this story and that was subsequently captured by the Fudds after the original Lubbock Battle and the destruction of the Lubbock Warren. When time is found, the entire Lubbock series will be HTML-ized.
Story segment ©1994-2002, by Scott Bernier. First HTML-ized on March 10, 1997. The only changes from the original post are corrections in grammatical/spelling errors.
WARNING: The following contains graphic, violent material that some people would not like to read. Some may even loose there lunch over it. You have been warned. If you do not wish to view such material, you are advised to return to the Stories page now. Of course most of the devilbunnies claim this is just Fudd propaganda and deny the incident ever happened.
LT GreyTail was in the kitchen prep-room of the Lubbock Outpost Warren. The traitor, former bunny-symp, Bob Fisher was strapped into a slide-chute before him. The bottom of the slide-chute led to the new patented Spam-o-Matic™ Spam maker that had been installed at the warren only a few months previous. Mr. Fisher would get the honor of being the first Spammed™ by it. Also in the room were two guardbuns, a techbun operating a camcorder and Marcus Stanton in handcuffs. GreyTail unfolded a piece of paper and read:
"Mr. Bob Fisher. You have been accused of and found guilty of committing treason and espionage. Under General LonGears' orders you are to be spammed to serve as an example to others as to why no bun or one betrays the General."
Bob snapped at him. "Be done with it already. You're not going to get much more entertainment out of me."
(deviousfluff) "That's what you think. Medic! Give him that serum that Mentat Bovet up to Stillwarren asked us to test." A med-bun comes up, and injects a needle full of pinkish-green ooze into Bob Fisher. Bob doesn't even flinch. "If what Mentat Bovet explained to me is correct, that stuff now diffusing into your system, will keep you conscious long after you should have passed-out from this form of execution. Furthermore, it enhances the nervous system. The pain you shall feel shall be increased thanks to this." He turns to Marcus Stanton. "Watch closely. You could be next if you fail to cooperate more with us."
"Now then. Start rolling the film. and.....ACTION!"
GreyTail turns on the Spam-o-Matic. It buzzes much like a food processor. The slide-chute actually has a small conveyor belt on it. This moves very slowly--after all, the human must be well pureed to make proper Spam™ . Bob Fisher grinds his teeth as his few remaining toes and his feet get ground-up. He finally loses control and screams at the top of his lungs in agony as his legs are ground. He continues to scream though at a different pitch of voice as the grinding approaches his waist. He screams and screams and shouts curses at devilbunnies in general and curses General LonGears as his torso is shredded and screams no more. Yet, his mouth continues to move and his eyes show pain almost until his neck gets sliced-and-diced. All in all, the whole incident takes 10 minutes. Bob Fisher was rather skinny and his body only produced 12 cans of Spam™ . Through all of this, GreyTail cackled and fluffed with delight. Marcus loses his lunch.
GreyTail turned to the bun behind the camera. "I want three copies of this made. Send one to Stillwarren, one to P.A.W. and the third to my office. The original should go to the archives. Oh and send a message to Mentat Bovet that his serum is a success." (commandfluff)
(salutefluff) "Yes sir!"
GreyTail turns to Marcus. "Now, that you have had sometime to consider your options, do you have anything to add to your previous statements?" (glareseyes)
Marcus, rather greenfaced, replied, "The Fudd had help. Before I ducked into the warehouse and radioed you for help, I saw the Fudd's car leap forward by itself or so it seemed. A second glance showed that there was a devilbunny driving the thing."
(STOMP!) "WHAT!!!! Are you saying that there is a traitorbun out there helping that Fudd???!!!"
(shakesandshivers) "Yyyyeeesss. I only got a quick glance at his head and ears. The bun was rather large and had grayish-brown fur."
GreyTail calms down a little. "Hhhhmmmm.....We don't have any buns here that could fit that description. Perhaps this is a rouge devilbunny. Well, when we catch-up with them, he'll wish he had chosen the right side. Speaking of sides. Medic! (the medicbun hops up to him and GreyTail takes him aside) Get our new recruit here (points to Stanton) down to the infirmary and get the conversion process started. If you have any of BunnyMentat's specials kicking around, administer one to him. We need every paw we can get right now thanks to this situation."
(salutefluff) "Yes, sir! If you will follow me, Mr. Stanton, we'll get you down to the infirmary. Marcus isn't a half-bad name, but that Stanton has got to go. While we're doing this, you'll have to come-up with a better, more cute...." The conversation trailed off down the tunnel.
(smacklipsanddeviousfluffle) "I hope Bob is as tasty as he was entertaining." GreyTail says to nobun in particular.
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