Originally posted 22 October, 1994 to alt.devilbunnies.
DISCLAIMER: Some of the material in this post does not
completely comply with the alt.devilbunnies FAQ's as they currently stand or even as they had
stood at the time this story was written. For example back then I tried to push Moxie™ as
being much more powerful then any other liquid anti-bun weapon. Only changes if any from the
original post are corrections for typographical/spelling errors.
©1994-2002 by Scott Bernier
First HTML-ized 19 September, 1997 by Scott Bernier
Return to Scott's Stories Index.
Posted by m8sab@ttacs1.ttu.edu (Scott Bernier)
Hey, I got this real nifty catalog, The El El Fudd Holiday 1994 Catalog, in the mail the other day and thought I'd share some of it with you:
Fudd and Devilbunny shaped chocolate in delightful shapes of your favorite alt.devilbunnies
characters. Each set consists of 1 lb of pure milk chocolate.
Commander's Set: The BHX and General LonGears (#BHLG34)
Fudd Set: Rob Chaney and Sergeant Emerson (#RCSE35)
Devilbunny Set: Iago the Patient and Snowhare (in pure white milk chocolate) (#IPSH36).
At $5.00 a set, you can afford at least one for that Mormon Girl (or Guy) in your life. Save!
Order all three sets for only $12.50!
Is the Fudd in your life in need of a new Fire Axe? Check-out our BH-AXE--a favorite with BHX-wanna-be's everywhere. Our Fireaxe is all metal (no more splintered handles in battle!) with a hand wrapped leather grip. The foot long slightly curved blade is diamond-honed to a keen edge that will cut through devilbunny flesh and bone like butter, and comes with a five-year guarantee not to loose its edge. Each axe is custom made to suit the wielder. Call for more details. We features lengths from 36-60 inches and weights from 3 lbs up to 20 lbs. If you want longer or heavier, we'll do that too!
Don't go into that next battle without the latest in liquid-weapon delivery system, the all new Supersoaker 200 Deluxe. This ain't no cheap plastic toy. Our liquid gun was designed for rough use in battle with its all metal outer rust-proof casing. With its new Quickloader™ feature, you can switch liquid tanks in under 10 seconds! Now designed to take standard 2 liter soda bottles without an adaptor, so you will never run low on amo! And at only $65.00, you can equip your whole army! (#SPEX200)
Supersoaker 200 Deluxe accessories:
Bayonette--in case them buns get too close. Mounts on the front of your Supersoaker 200
Deluxe, this 8 inch blade will rip through the enemy and not interfere with the gun's fire stream.
At only $10.00, you can't go wrong! (#SPBY200)
MOXIE™! Yes, folks, now you can take on the Evil that Fluffs™ alone
with the most powerful liquid weapon wo date--touted ten times more powerful than HVE, you
get a case of 8 two liter bottles ready to be loaded in your Supersoaker 200 Deluxe. Due to the
volatile nature of this product, we can only ship Moxie™ via surface freight, allow an
additional 3-4 weeks for delivery. $30.00 (#MXIE82) (Moxie™ is a trademark of Monarch
Foods, INC.)
**WARNING, use of large quantities of Moxie at once can be considered by some as
an Omega Treaty Violation....USE AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!
For the kiddies we have assorted 15 inch Devilbunny plushies. These life-like replicas of the real thing are disgustingly cute, but their heads go *POP* just like the real thing. Start training your child today for the war tomorrow! $15.00 (#DBPL15)
Well, folks, I know where I'm doing my holiday shopping....Hey Bill, what do ya want for the Holidays?
Pvt Eugene "Moxie Man" Pomerleau, Lubbock Fudd Intelligence Mainah stranded in West Hell^H^H^H^HTexas "If the devil owned hell and Texas, he'd live in hell and rent-out Texas!"--Bella English, Boston Globe.