GreyTail reports his Failings to Iago
The following takes place on the heel of Down in Lubbock. A collaboration with John "Iago" Hollingsworth (currently not on the net), it pertains with what happens to GreyTail after the battle. Like all the other stories from my first year, the only changes will be spelling errors.
© 1995-2002 by Scott Bernier and John Hollingswoth
First HTML-ized 2 March, 1998 by Scott Bernier. Corrections made 8 March, 1998 and 17
March, 2002.
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GreyTail arrives at Stillwarren
Back around October 14, 1994
It had taken GreyTail and the few soldiers who accompanied him and the unconscious Doublewiskers another 3 days to get to StillWarren. GreyTail had taken his time on purpose. He had spent the time filling out a detailed report on what exactly had happened in Lubbock. Frith-be-damned, he was probably going to burn for this, but he wasn't going to go down because of he made a poor report. Included with the report would be the recovered files from P.A.W. and an optical disk found on the unconscious body of Agent Doublewiskers.
Four days later, it was time for the meeting he had been (dreadfluff)ing now for a week--the debriefing meeting with Iago, which most likely would lead to his court-martial (if he was lucky).
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GreyTail reports his Failings to Iago
Iago sat down at his desk and reviewed the report from LT GreyTail for the who-the-fluff-is-counting-anymore-time. He knew Greytail was waiting outside his office.
8/27/95 The Fudd, Eugene Pomerleau returned to Lubbock, one week after he was last spotted in Amarillo. Where he was in the week inbetween is unsure. He was watched but not approached by bunny operatives as per your orders, CMDR Iago. It was noted soon after that Eugene spent most of his time at Texas Tech University and at Reese Air Force Base. Further reconnaissance showed that his research dealt with blowing dust levels at Reese, Amarillo, and Midland and on ways of reducing this dust, explaining the time he spent at Reese Air Force Base.
Attempts to follow the former squirrel over the next month failed. Attempts to use homing devices on the Fudd's vehicle failed, including a Fluffypink Series III™, which was suppose to be human-tamperproof had failed. (Its self-destruct was suppose to detonate if non-bunny paws or hands touched it.) It turned up on the bumper of a mass-transit bus.
Soon after the fluffypink incident, Eugene showed-up at his apartment with a captive devilbunny. No help to this bunny was rendered since orders were not to approach the subject. As such, I, GreyTail, take full responsibility for what happened next. Private Buckey, who was assigned to Monitor Outpost Buster One to monitor Eugene frantically describe what happened next. The captive devilbunny's name and point of origin are not known, he was a rather large buck, with a brown pelt.
The Fudd tortured the devilbunny with Moxie™. In the middle of the torture session, the phone rang. On the other end was one of General LonGears' bunny-symp operatives, Bob Fisher. He offered Eugene Pomerleau access to restricted files in exchange for Eugene's share in Moxie Company stock. As soon as he hung-up the phone, Eugene *pop*ped the devilbunny captive and left his apartment soon after. I ordered Private Buckey to follow. Buckey lost Eugene on I-27 thanks to a collision between Buckey's vehicle and one driven by another devilbunny, who's paw prints at the scene and voice recordings made by Private Buckey match those in the archives to the late Agent Doublewiskers of Namakata Labs. A dead bun at the scene was ID'd as the late Agent Cottontail, also of Namakata Labs. Both were supposedly killed on the same day in 1988, when Namakata Labs was destroyed. You have already received a report on this, including copies of the recordings, including the film footage of Doublewiskers vaporizing a Ford Fiesta with an unknown weapon-type and ranting: "I don't care what FlopEar wants anymore! I'm going to extract my revenge on you, Busheytail! To Frith with you squirrel (STOMP!STOMP!STOMP!) You have been an embarassment on my record too long!" I can't give more information on that incident, for it has been classified by P.A.W.
Iago paused at the mention of his Great-Uncle's name, FlopEar, who had died along with all other buns at Namakata Labs in a freak accident. It puzzled him that this bun, Doublewiskers had mentioned FlopEar in the present tense. Could it be that FlopEar had somehow survived? Iago continued reading:
I immediately sent out a report to both you, Iago, and General LonGears on what was happening to receive further instruction as to what to do about this. In the meantime, we received a distress call from another of LonGears' bunny-symps, Marcus Stanton. He reported that Bob Fisher did indeed intend to hand over PAW files to Eugene in exchange for the stock, but the deal went sour, with Bob injured and Eugene fleeing the scene. By this time orders were received from LonGears to apprehend the traitor, Bob Fisher and to recover the files. Both were done in short order. It was soon after discovered that one of the two disks that contained the PAW files had been tampered with.
That is when I requested more help. LonGears immediately ordered that Bob Fisher be Spammed™ and that the Fudd, Eugene Pomerleau, be apprehended at all costs and the copied files retrieved. Bob was immediately spammed, with videos of the execution sent to you and General LonGears. Marcus Stanton, who helped us apprehend Bob Fisher, was converted to the cute rather than executed. He is now at PlainWarren in Plainview, TX were he is undergoing the final stages of conversion.
Thanks to the 1800 troops you sent me to reinforce the 350 I had on paw at Lubbock, we were able to locate the Fudd, Eugene Pomerleau within two days (October 9th to be exact) of the PAW file incident. He was hiding out in the Physics Building at Texas Tech. I gathered my forces together to surround the building and prepare to capture him. That's when things begin to turn sour and rather uncute.
The Fudd had traps all over the place. I lost 3 buns trying to storm the front doors before my initial assault group was turned back--the Fudd had rigged the lawn sprinkler system to spray holy water. He requested a one-on-one meeting with me. I agreed, figuring it would give me a chance to note the lay-out of the building and perhaps apprehend the Fudd single-pawed.
I found him in a third floor lab, but not before he had a rather large laboratory laser pointed at me with a wood axe in his free hand. He had me read some excerpts from the P.A.W. files concerning himself and my father, who had been posted at Namakata Labs back in the early 80's. He then stated he had no further need for the files and that I was to take them. He asked that I withdraw my troops. I laughed at him. He immediately erupted with a volley of squirrel curses. I have only heard chittering curses like that once before, back in the days when we use to "employ" thirteen-striped groundsquirrels at L.O.W. He regained his composure and stated that if I did not immediately withdraw, "death shall rain from the skies and several hundred of your buns shall perish before the first battle cries are heard from the northeast and the south". I just laughed even more, for by now, I could see that this former-squirrel, which by now I was convinced was a squirrel at one time, was like most of his species are like, totally nuts. I immediately left the meeting with the recovered files, though I doubt they were the only copy and ordered the building to be stormed.
Before the first charge could be carried-out though, six crop-dusters quickly dived out of the sky and dropped some sort of bunnycide upon my troops. Those not in bunnyarmor quickly died and those in partial armor died more slowly. The planes were out of site before we could react. 500 buns, one quarter of my entire force had died in the attack. Before we could fully recover from the initial attack from the air, a battle cry was heard from the northeast and followed-up from the south:
"For Elh'mer and Lubbock!!!! Remember Stillwarren!!!!"
The battle went on for almost an hour, unfortunately it went against us and I was forced to call retreat. I had lost 1500 buns in total and 2 dozen beer trucks. I estimate the Fudds only lost half this many, but it was hard to tell. It seemed that for every Fudd that fell, two more took its place. I now believe we did not take on the whole force. I received scout reports of another 500-1000 fresh Fudds waiting in reserve. If these reports are true, this is the largest Fudd army encountered outside of NoCo that I know of.
In the next two days, the Fudds somehow discovered and attacked L.O.W which I was forced to abandon and destroy, along with the outpost warrens in Abernathy and Sweetwater. In these attacks, I lost another 300 buns and the Fudd casualties appeared to be light. I retreated to PlainWarren with about 350 buns left out of my original force of 2150. I left 330 out of my remaining force at PlainWarren to help reinforce them in case of another attack and reported with the other 20 here.
As for the Fudd, Eugene Pomerleau, who claims to also be Aldin Busheytail, at this point I, personally believe his claims. The PAW files I was shown bared LonGears' pawprint and indicated that Aldin was Namakata's Mentat as incredulous as that sounds. He also held the military rank of Captain at that time. A PAW investigation in said files showed that Aldin may not have been executed in 1984 as previously reported, but may have been transformed into a human, though evidence at the time of the investigation was lacking. Aldin's file was reopened this past August by General LonGears. Furthermore, in my meeting with Eugene/Aldin, his eyes were not human, but rodent-like. I have never seen such eyes in a normal human.
I do not know how to make out this Fudd/former-squirrel. He warned me of exactly how the battle would commence. If he is a Fudd, then how come he gave away this information? Was he truelly concerned about the loss of life that was to occur, or was it motivation to try and convince me that the files I saw were true and not forgeries?
The only other report I have on Eugene is frantic claims by some of my surviving buns that he may be a lycanthrope. These buns had engaged Eugene in battle, drawn blood, only to witness the wounds heal and the human laugh maniacally before striking back. I have doubts about this report, but if he is truely a mentat, anything is possible.
As for the unexpected Fudd force, I can not explain how they were able to hide such a large force from our detection, except now on hindsight, there is only one place such a force could have remained undetected--Reese Air Force Base, west of Lubbock. Due to all the government pesticides around the base we have not been able to infiltrate the base in years.
Despite my poor record in this event, I would like to recommend two promotions:
Private, 1st Class Buckey to the rank of Sergeant Corporal for his outstanding work that lead to the capture of Bob Fisher and the rescue of Agent Doublewiskers after an explosion at Eugene Pomerleau's apartment during the battle. (Reports on this explosion are sketchy due to our hasty retreat out of Lubbock.)
Private Brown Paw, unit unknown, field-promoted to 2nd Lieutenant for his work in discovering the reserve Fudd forces. His continued service during the battle and the two days after showed he was fine officer material. Unfortunately, he is currently missing in action and assumed dead. If he has any next of kin, I recommend the rank be awarded post-humously to them.
You will find Agent Doublewiskers is recovering from broken bones and second degree burns in Stillwarren's medical facility. The medbuns say he could be recovered enough for questioning in two days. An optical disk was found on him marked "for Commander Iago's eyes only". It is enclosed with this report along with the recovered P.A.W. files.
The failure in Lubbock is all my fault. I underestimated my enemies and have paid for it and will probably continue paying for it, pending on what you feel my punishment for these failures should be.
LT GreyTail
Iago sat back and considered every word in the report and considered what to do with GreyTail. He summoned LT GreyTail into his office. As tempting as it was to examine the optical disk, which haz-met cleared as safe with no traps or viruses upon it, he decided to deal with that after dealing with GreyTail.
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Iago sees GreyTail
"Lieutenant," Iago barked, "Come."
"GreyTail," the commander asked as he sat back in his chair, "give me your explanation - in a nutshell."
"Sir, it's all my faul---"
"Silence!" Iago yelled. "It was NOT necessarily your fault that EVERYTHING went wrong." GreyTail looked as if he didn't know whether to hop up and down for joy, or to fall over and die before the commander did it for him.
"It is your fault that you were unduly careless with the duties that you were to perform, regardless of whether they came from the General or from me." Now GreyTail was worried.
"You DID follow my first orders to watch him closely very well -- at first.
HOWEVER," Iago thundered that the lieutenant, "you couldn't not even plant a
Fluffypink III onto his car successfully. It is tamper-proof by human hands and he somehow
STILL transfered it onto a transit bus somehow.
"You *did*, however, provide us valuable information to help our chances of being able to SPAM him after we capture him. Your private - Buckley, his name was? - observed the Fudd torturing one of our kind. This valuable information cannot be overlooked."
By this time, GreyTail was totally confused and unsure of his fate. It was unclear was to whether Iago was going to kill him, court-marshall him, or promote him.
But Iago continued before he could contemplate further.
"The unfortunate popping of the unidentified brown buck and the following collision on I-27 are not your fault. Those were circumstances outside of your control. This also cannot be overlooked.
"The recovery of Agent Doublewhiskers and the optical disk he was carrying are very positive events. These too cannnot be overlooked.
"
"Fisher was SPAM™ed, and it was....
"Stanton is coming to the Way of the Cute, and that is another good mark for you, Lieutenant.
"However, your good points generally end here."
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Iago continues chewing out GreyTail 2
GreyTail just sat there, frozen in fear. He was now convinced the commander was DEFINATELY going to court-marshall AND kill him.
"You allowed the squirrel not only to somehow disable the Fluffypink III and get in onto the underside of a transit bus, but allowed him to torture a devilbunny.
"You cannot give me anymore information on Namakata Labs because the General classified that information. That is not your fault, but it doesn't make me pleasantly inclined towards you.
"You underestimated the Fudd. He was a squirrel, and apparently a Mentat. You should have never underestimated him, GreyTail. Squirrel or not, he underwent Mentat training. ANY Mentat can be, and usually is, crafty when cornered. Being that he was a squirrel, he also has the capacity to be completely off his rocker.
"You also lost three buns in the initial attack on the lab, and, though you didn't forsee any danger, you lost another 500 in your arrogance.
"You eventually lost three warrens, 1800 buns, and two beer trucks before being able to travel here to meet your fate with me.
"For the soldiers' deaths, may you be accountable to Frith."
This last statement made GreyTail shudder.
"While you were trying to obey my orders, you forgot your training. You forgot what
Memlar and Mader taught us. You forgot that an edict or command from StillWarren is a
command that deals with the Spirit of the Law, not the strict Letter of it UNLESS you
are specifically told otherwise. You also are instructed to ask for assistance if you are unsure
when to be strict with the interpretation or not. ARE YOU NOT?
Silence.
"ANSWER, LIEUTENANT! I WANT AN ANSWER!!
All that GreyTail could do is fluff a meager fluff and say, "I take full responsibility for my actions, incorrect as they were. Punish me accordingly."
Iago could barely keep from berzerking right then and there, but the honest bluntness of GreyTail's responce had a calming effect. /He didn't forget how to assume responsibility for his mistakes, though/ Iago thought.
"Keep in mind your training, Lieutenant."
"Yessir
GreyTail could only looked at the floor, wishing that he was dead already.
************************************************************************ * -=Iago=- * NEVER trust a Fudd. Ever. Period. * * Commander of * NEVER accept anything baptized in urine. >:0 * * StillWarren Forces * NEVER forget to do all research necessary. * * Devilbunny Militia * NEVER stray from your training in TaoBunnism. * ************************************************************************
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Iago passes judgement
"
GreyTail sighed in relief.
"HOWEVER, as you may have heard, I am displeased with Bunderbolt's performance, and I have been seeking to send him back to P.A.W. for a new assignment as the General sees fit. I've been considering various buns as his replacement. I have narrowed a list of candidates down to two.
"Lt. CMDR BlackPaw. And. You."
GreyTail couldn't hide his surprise. The news of a promotion and a position as Iago's right-paw bun seemed too good to be true.
"Until this incident, I was going to send BlackPaw back to Amarillo to continue the progress made there. I need someone out there at the Amarillo Outpost Warrens with experience and with wisdom. BlackPaw is perfect for the job, since he's been doing it already, and has proven thoroughly trustworthy.
"You are a First Lieutenant. Your next promotion would be Lt. Commander. Your ideal next position and assignment would be here by my side.
"But, after this debacle, I see that you are not ready. You aren't not ready and are too hasty as a commander for such a difficult and strenuous position.
GreyTail almost literally physically withered. He already had withered emotionally.
He had blundered the Lubbock situation so badly that Iago couldn't true him any longer.
His career record was ruined.
"You may still have a chance under my command for promotion, Lieutenant
Iago turned toward a stack of papers and shuffled through them until he found what he wanted.
"Your new orders," he said stoicly as he hended them to the thrashed-looking lieutenant.
GreyTail slowly picked up the packet, now unsure of his fate altogether.
************************************************************************ * -=Iago=- * NEVER trust a Fudd. Ever. Period. * * Commander of * NEVER accept anything baptized in urine. >:0 * * StillWarren Forces * NEVER forget to do all research necessary. * * Devilbunny Militia * NEVER stray from your training in TaoBunnism. * ************************************************************************
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GreyTail Recieves New Orders
GreyTail opened-up the packet within which his fate was sealed and read his orders. He had all he could do to maintain a neutral disciplined stance as he read them. He had all he could do not to give an (elationfluff) over Iago sparing his life. However, in some ways, these orders might as well have been his death sentence.
GreyTail was to report to LT CMDR Black Paw. Together they were going to reestablish Outpost Warrens in Sweetwater and Abernathy and then report to PlainWarren for further orders. Again GreyTail found it hard to hold discipline, for Lubbock had been Black Paw's warren that GreyTail had lost.
"I understand my orders." (salutefluff) "Thank you, sir!"
"Dismissed lieutenant. Prove to me I wasn't wrong in giving you another chance."
GreyTail left.
Late January, 1995
After several months of work, GreyTail had completed his orders successfully. Sweetwater was back up to 100 buns and Abernathy had another 120 buns. It had not been easy though. The continuous grilling he received from Black Paw made that day in Iago's office look like a birthday party. He filed his report at PlainWarren to be sent to Iago and then as ordered, spent time at PlainWarren awaiting his next orders.
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A Ghost from the Past Visits Iago
> GreyTail was to report to LT CMDR Black Paw. Together they were >going to reestablish Outpost Warrens in Sweetwater and Abernathy and then >report to PlainWarren for further orders. Again GreyTail found it hard to >hold discipline, for Lubbock had been Black Paw's warren that GreyTail had >lost. > > "I understand my orders." (salutefluff) "Thank you, sir!" > > "Dismissed lieutenant. Prove to me I wasn't wrong in giving you another >chance." > > GreyTail left.
As Iago watched GreyTail leave, he rummaged around on his desk to find the optical disk that had been recovered from the alleged Agent Doublewiskers. Finding it handily, Iago slipped it into the slot of his optical disk drive system and let it boot up.
He paused for a moment before reading the information on the screen. He was still worked-up over GreyTail's failure, but he was sure that BlackPaw would set that incompetent bun right.
"BlackPaw's not incompetent like GreyTail. He'll take care of the problems I'd take care of it I wasn't a Lt. Col."
Shaking his head, Iago commanded the optical disk system to read the disk. It asked for his password.
Iago keyed in the password, "WoRLdwIde", and the computer screen blanked. Iago's heart leapt to his throat. Then, suddenly, the screen read
****PASSWORD ACCEPTED****
Before Iago could sigh a sigh of relief, he saw on the screen a face that he had not seen in nearly seven years. A greyish furred elder buck with one bucktooth missing and a bent right ear stared at him....
"Great Frith...." Iago stammered. "Uncle FlopEar."
The image spoke:
"This disc was carried by my agents and designed to self-destruct if any password other than that belonging to my dear great nephew, Iago, was entered. If you are seeing this, Iago, I assume you are the bun viewing this.
"In this recorded message, I shall try to address some of the questions that may be on your mind, and a few that may not be. At the time this disc was created, Sept 22, 1994, I was indeed alive and well. The new Namakata Labs are running smoothly. You, Iago, are expected to follow your military duty and report this contact. However, you will have no strong evidence to back you since this program is self-erasing. This is to protect you as much as to protect me. If your superiors ask questions, don't hold anything back. I have observed your advancement in the military and I am proud (proudfluff) of your achievement and I don't want you jeopardizing that position on my account.
"As to what happened in 1988, General LonGears and I had a major disagreement. I chose to stage my death rather than face court-martial for how I ran my experiments at Namakata Labs. I'm rather surprised that it has worked as well as it has. It has enabled me to carry-out my work undisturbed until recently.
FlopEar leaned a little closer to the screen. "In 1987, I lost contact with one of my test subjects, a Eugene Pomerleau. He recently turned-up, as you know, down your way. I must recover him if I am to complete my experiments. That was what my Agents Doublewiskers and Cottontail, if they're still alive, were ordered to do, (sternfluff) recover Eugene Pomerleau at all costs.
"I do not ask you to aid them. Doing so would jeopardize your position at Stillwarren. However, if they are still alive, they will either try to escape, or if that is impossible, they shall commit suicide rather than be interrogated. My work is almost complete. If successful there shall be no more need of hiding and I shall be able to face LonGears on my own terms.
"Well that's all I can tell you for now. As this message finishes, a quick tightbeamburst will notify me that you have viewed this disc. Some time in the future I shall contact you in person. Until then, it's been nice seeing you again, nephew. (patriarchfluff) Frith be with you, Iago."
The image faded and smoke wafted up from the disc drive.
************************************************************************ * -=Iago=- * NEVER trust a Fudd. Ever. Period. * * Commander of * NEVER accept anything baptized in urine. >:0 * * StillWarren Forces * NEVER forget to do all research necessary. * * Devilbunny Militia * NEVER stray from your training in TaoBunnism. * ************************************************************************
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A Ghost from the Past Visits Iago 2
Iago sat stunned as the smoke drifted about the room. He had a hard time believing the optical disk. He had a hard time believing that his thought-to-be long-dead uncle was indeed alive.
However, the disk couldn't be a fabrication. Only FlopEar knew Iago's password, and the disk destroyed itself at the end of the transmission. But still....
"PinkEar? Get me the communications room immediately."
"Yessir."
[long (melo-?)dramatic pause]
"Yessir," a LTjg comm tech saluted in a non-excited manner. "How can we help you?"
"Check all the logs for any activity on the tightbeam ranges. Look for an extremely high yet very short burst. Your location..."
Iago paused. He couldn't let on to even a lowly comm tech that Namakata might still exist.
"....is somewhere in the Maine/New Hampshire comm triangle. Your time frame is from ten minutes ago to the present."
"
Iago nearly came unglued. "Of course I'm sure, you fool! Just do it!!
"
Iago turned on his IBM-clone to play Microsoft Tetris™ for a while. /This search could take a while,/ he thought.
---====--- Thirty minutes later... ---====---
Iago's personal internal frequency alarm went off, signifying that someone within the warren was hailing him. /Must be the communications staff,/ Iago hoped.
"Sir, we have located a extremely high intensity tightburst from your terminal during the designated time. It's location is in an barely charted area of Maine.
"We have found that the range falls near an old....Namankantah Labs.
"
"Dismissed."
Iago broke the connection before waiting for the poor lieutenant to salute and signoff. It was positive now: FlopEar *was* still alive -- at least in September of 1994.
Now all Iago had to do was prepare himself on how he would approach the General. How he would not reveal all that he knew and maintain a look of honesty to the General was currently beyond the Commander.
End
[Author's note: I don't recall if Iago ever did send a message to General LonGears and I can't find anything in the archives from that time period to such effect..]
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