Originally posted to alt.devilbunnies 12, 18, 28 December, 1999 in collaboration with Tammy Sue "FluffyTeacher" Keyes. The communications between FluffyTeacher and Jerry CrimsonPaw take place soon after The Search for Eugene. FluffyTeacher's visit to DEWComm takes place on the day of the Winter Solstice 1999 (December 22).
©1999 by Scott Bernier and Tammy Sue
Keyes.
First HTML-ized 30 December, 1999 by Scott Bernier
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Tightbeam to CrimsonPaw [STOMP]
From fteacher@denverwarren.edu Sun Dec 12 16:57:05 1999 Subject: Tightbeam to CrimsonPaw [STOMP]
Commander,
I hope your fight against the Fourier is proceeding well
******** Tightbeam Engaged ******************
******** BUNIX Encryption Enabled ***********
TO: Commander Jerry CrimsonPaw
From: FluffyTeacher
Commander,
[STOMP] What in Frith's name is going on? [STOMPwiggleangryfluff]
If you needed to reconsider our deal then I would have appreciated a warning. [STOMP]
I except an explanation by the time I arrive. [wigglefluff]
FluffyTeacher
******** Disable BUNIX Encryption **********
******** End Tightbeam *********************
[sighfluff] I hate it when the line noise interferes. [stomp]
FluffyTeacher
Would somebun look into clearing up these transmissions? [quarywiggle]
@}---`---,--- @}---`---,--- @}---`---,---- \ Bringing the next generation to Cuteness \ /\ History lessons given at: ( ) [wigglefluff] http://www.devilbunnies.org _( * )_ [shimmywink] My webpage at: http://www.ncf.carleton.ca/~at241
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FluffyTeacher wrote:
>Commander, > >I hope your fight against the Fourier is proceeding well
(STOMP!) All is not going well. I'm sure you saw the news on BNN when those
wyrmbunnies attacked one of our bunmover terminals the day after
Thanksgiving....*(&%*$&%*&$^&
******** Tightbeam Engaged ******************
******** BUNIX Encryption Enabled ***********
>[STOMP] What in Frith's name is going on? [STOMPwiggleangryfluff]
A (fluffin') war (STOMP!) against our civilians. (droopears)
>I except an explaintion by the time I arrive. [wigglefluff]
Patience, FluffyTeacher. All will be explained upon your arrival. I hope you are not traveling alone, Maine is not safe as long as Wade is out on the loose. (STOMP!)
******** Disable BUNIX Encryption **********
******** End Tightbeam *********************
%&*(*$%*(&$W(*%
>[sighfluff] I hate it when the line noise interferes. [stomp]
(STOMP!) Must be those Fouriers again!
>Would somebun look into clearing up these transmissions? [quarywiggle]
(STOMP!) What the esteemed FluffyTeacher said.
Cmdr Jerry CrimsonPaw, DEWComm.
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Subject: Re: Tightbeam to Fluffyteacher From: fteacher@denverwarren.edu (FluffyTeacher) Date: Sat, 18 Dec 1999 18:18:57 -0500 (EST)
Jerry CrimsonPaw wrote:
>FluffyTeacher wrote: >> >>I hope your fight against the Fourier is proceeding well >(STOMP!) All is not going well. I'm sure you saw the news on BNN when >those wyrmbunnies attacked one of our bunmover terminals the day after >Thanksgiving....*(&%*$&%*&$^&
[confusedwiggle] Would you please repeat that last part, you're *(&%(&&%%$^%
******** Tightbeam Engaged ******************
******** BUNIX Encryption Enabled ***********
>>[STOMP] What in Frith's name is going on? [STOMPwiggleangryfluff] >A (fluffin') war (STOMP!) against our civilians. (droopears)
I understand that [STOMP] I'm not blind! [wigglefluff] I would just like to know why you failed to contact me. [poutfluff]
>>I except an explaintion by the time I arrive. [wigglefluff] >Patience, FluffyTeacher. All will be explained upon your arrival. I hope >you are not traveling alone, Maine is not safe as long as Wade is out on >the loose. (STOMP!)
Of course I'm not traveling alone. I would not allow the bunnyarmor to fall into the wrong paws now. [wigglefluff] Besides, I may be getting old, but I'm not as defenseless as most Fudds think. [fangygrin] I still have a few tricks. [shimmywigglewink]
******** Disable BUNIX Encryption **********
******** End Tightbeam *********************
%&*(*$%*(&$W(*%
>>[sighfluff] I hate it when the line noise interferes. [stomp] >(STOMP!) Must be those Fouriers again!
Would SOMEBUN put them out of my misery? [STOMP]
>>Would somebun look into clearing up these transmissions? [quarywiggle] >(STOMP!) What the esteemed FluffyTeacher said.
At least somebun agrees. [gigglewink]
FluffyTeacher
Over the river and through the woods...
@}---`---,--- @}---`---,--- @}---`---,---- \ Bringing the next generation to Cuteness \ /\ History lessons given at: ( ) [wigglefluff] http://www.devilbunnies.org _( * )_ [shimmywink] My webpage at: http://www.ncf.carleton.ca/~at241
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The bunmover slowed to a stop at the terminal and a door opened. Two large buns in armor hopped out, looked about and then over towards CrimsonPaw's party. They nod to one another and one leans back into the mover briefly. A small white doe with grey forepaws hops out. Around her waist is a silver chain. CrimsonPaw and his party immediately bow before the newcomer and her party.
FluffyTeacher nods but her icy stare shows how upset she is. After a momentary, awkward pause, Jerry continues, "I know the broadcast has upset you, but if you and your two...friends, follow me, all will be explained."
FluffyTeacher nods, "After you Commander." Her body guards fall into place behind her. Jerry leads FluffyTeacher through the minor maze of hallways of DEWComm, explaining each section's function. "I know our facility here is a small backwarren in comparison to your own DenverWarren, but it is the best we've got. Ah, here we go..." Jerry opens the door to the warren medical center and stands to one side.
"Cookie is preparing a special feast in your honor this evening. There, you'll get to meet our special effects buns from CastleWarren Studios, who dressed-up that other Fudd into a perfect Pomerleau-look-alike, down to the last scar. That's why we had to keep him gagged for the spamming, he wasn't exactly willing to cooperate with our plans." (gigglefluff) "Are you satisfied with my explanation so far, Ms. FluffyTeacher?"
FluffyTeacher smiled. "I am. I had hoped there would be an explanation and I have it." She took Jerry's paw, "I would like to see more of your warren. How long before Pomerleau will be ready to go? I will also need time to review the operation of your bunnyarmor."
Jerry nods. "Pomerleau is sedated and can be loaded onto a bunmover at any time. He'll remain unconscious for the duration of the trip. Mentat Blackberry can tell you what drugs and doses we have him on and how long it would take for their effects to wear-off. Guest quarters have been prepared in case you wish to spend the night..." Jerry leads his visitors through the warren's corridors.
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FluffyTeacher had heard of Cookie Lightclaw's legendary culinary talents. Now she had sampled them for real. She couldn't remember the last time she had gorged herself like this. It was very unlike her to do so, but it was all so good. She was impressed with the dinner that had been laid out in her honor. Jerry admitted they didn't go this overboard too often, the only other time in the past year had been the victory feast after the Maine Fudds fell in battle.
There were the normal side dishes such as glazed carrots with raisin sauce, mashed potatoes, local winter squash, etc. For the first time she got to try fiddleheads, a regional delicacy. These unfurled ostrich ferns could only be harvested in the early spring Jerry told her at one point. Due to the light buttery sauce the fiddleheads were served in, FluffyTeacher couldn't tell they were canned.
The main dishes were very impressive. The roast 'young' Fuddling was baked to perfection with the skin light brown and crackled. She had never had the type of stuffing in the Fuddling's cavity before. The spamburger stuffing melted in her mouth. The stuffed Fudd-foot centerpiece was impressive, and the toes were just the right temperature. Then there was the Fudd Tourtiere* pie. She had heard of the Acadian traditional meat pie before, but until now she had never sampled one. FluffyTeacher couldn't decide which dish was her favorite from the meal.
FluffyTeacher's two bunsonal guards had also eaten heartily and praised Cookie as much as FluffyTeacher had. Everybun present had all they could do to eat a slice of Cookie's traditional toe-cake, Maine wild blueberry pie, and symp-kosher cowboy chocolate cake. Even the warm spiced Snapple-cider was excellent.
FluffyTeacher had a hard time keeping her eyes open, it was all she could do to stay awake, much to her embarrassment. She blinks a couple of times and then realizes Jerry said something to her. "No thank you, I couldn't eat another bite."
Cookie sat-up a little more proudly at the comment. "Then I did well." She pushes a wrapped package across the table to the warren's guest. "Accept this small gift, one of my cookbooks, in thanks. You have already given me the best gift a cook can receive by showing your appreciation for my cooking. You'll find recipes for everything you were able to enjoy tonight in my cookbook, except the tourtiere pie. You can't write that one into a recipe, it can only be learned."
"I shall cherish this gift and see to it that it gets used. What is so hard about the pie?" FluffyTeacher leans forward slightly, to better give Cookie her attention.
Cookie (gigglefluffs) briefly. "How do you describe: you mix the ingredients with your paws until it feels just so. Then you taste small samples until the spices mixed in taste just so..." She winks. (besidesfluff) "If I gave away all my secrets, then anybun could take my place."
"I think we should all retire for a couple of hours and let this wonderful meal digest," Jerry stated after a brief pause in the conversation. FluffyTeacher looks to him with surprise. The evening was early yet. Maybe it was true about all these small country warrens, all their tunnels shutdown before 8pm. Jerry caught the look in her eyes. "Long before you chose to come here, FluffyTeacher, I made a promise to my ward, Mariel. I keep my promises as much as possible." He glances down the table to where Mariel was sitting and still nibbling. She glances-up.
"You mean it, Unca Jerry?" (excitedfluff) "We're still going?"
"Of course, hon." He glances back at FluffyTeacher. "Back before we attacked the Maine Fudds, I promised Mariel that we would go sledding on the night of the winter solstice. We use to go sledding a lot before her conversion. I hope you will join us. It will be an incredible night. The full moon will be so bright, it'll be almost like daylight out."
Sledding? She hadn't been sledding since she was a kit. Her duties as warren leader, teacher, and mother had cut into her free time the last few years. She'd love to do it again, but caution flashed in her mind. "Will it be safe? What if there are humans about?"
Jerry laughs briefly but cuts himself off at the glare from FluffyTeacher. "Forgive me, perhaps you didn't quite catch all that I told you during our tour this afternoon. Virtually all the humans here in Down East Maine know about the Fluffy Cause™ and are loyal to it. After all, with the help of Kingdomwarren and the Disney contract we have, we've all but eliminated unemployment. Before that contract a year and a half ago, this area had been under continuous depression for over a decade. Any Fudd who would wander into Machias would be tar-and-feathered and run out of town if he was lucky. For to oppose us, in the very least you would loose your job. Good paying jobs in this area haven't been seen in a long, long time.
"As for Wade," (sighfluff) "he's been quiet...too quiet since the staged spamming. But we are deep within the territory we control and our borders are heavily patrolled."
(happybouncepoof) "In other words," Mariel interjected, "there's nothing to worry about."
"I've only suggested the rest since some of us," (patstummy) "ate a little more then we should have tonight. I, bunsonally, don't want to get sick as we slide down the hill." Jerry looks FluffyTeacher in the eyes. "As I said when you first arrived, we are a simple backwarren compared to your DenverWarren, but we still have ways to keep ourselves entertained. Sometimes, the simple ways are the bestest. Will you join us? Your companions are welcome along if they wish."
FluffyTeacher thought for a moment, looked into Jerry's eyes and nods.
*-pronounced two-chay or toh-chay (rhymes with oooohhh), it is a French-Canadian Christmas-time staple. The filling in most versions is equal parts of cooked ground pork, beef, and potatoes mixed with ground onions and spices. Amount and kind of spices and how the potatoes are mixed in vary by family recipe. Cookie's version substitutes fresh ground human for the pork (of course).
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The Maine winter air was cold and crisp, but nothing FluffyTeacher wasn't use to in comparison to the Colorado Rockies. Upon their arrival at the hill Jerry had taken them to, they found four human kits there, sledding. FluffyTeacher kept her distance at first until Jerry showed it was safe to venture out among the human kits, who all knew Jerry and were excited to see him, all taking turns to pet him briefly in greeting as he cuddled in each of their laps. They were all polite and very courteous. Once she was sure it was safe, FluffyTeacher permitted them to pet her. Their touch was very light and gentle. FluffyTeacher was impressed, somebun had taught these human kits very well. They then supplied Jerry's crew with a small toboggan. They even carried it back up the hill for the rabbits after each trip down the hill.
It didn't take many trips down the hill for FluffyTeacher to relax. Jerry and Mariel were having a blast also. The kit's enthusiasm was rubbing off on her. If Jerry hadn't told her Mariel's story that afternoon, she would never have known she was a convert--she was such a natural as a bunny.
Even her two body guards had a little fun, but remained alert as was their duty. She lost track of time as she enjoyed the speed of the sled, nor did she keep track as to how many times they went down the hill. Eventually, the human kits had to go home, but they left the sled, for they knew it would be returned to them. It didn't seem to be much of a chore to have to carry-up the small toboggan on their own. At this point, the bodyguards took-up positions at the top of the hill to watch for intruders. On the fourth trip, or maybe it was the fifth trip down the hill after the human kits left, FluffyTeacher, Jerry, and Mariel hit a snowbank and went airborne, only to come tumbling down headfirst into the powdery, fluffy snow beyond the bank.
FluffyTeacher's guards come rushing and slipping down the hill to the rescue and skid to a halt at the sight of their warren leader giggling uncontrollably as she pulls herself out of the snow and then lends a paw with Mariel to get Jerry unstuck, his frantic cries muffled as only his dangling legs protruded from the deep snow. FluffyTeacher and Mariel tumble backwards as he comes loose, his entire head coated in snow. FluffyTeacher along with Mariel breakdown into a new round of giggles as Jerry shakes the snow off. He gets up, takes a couple of hops in a zig-zag pattern and stops again, shaking his head.
"I think that's going to have to do it for one night. I'm a bit dizzy."
Mariel (poutfluffs) and begs to go down one more time. Jerry concedes, allowing her to go down on more time alone. As she climbs up the hill, Jerry leans over to FluffyTeacher. "Actually, it's time she should get to bed. It's well past her bedtime and approaching midnight. I'm actually alright."
FluffyTeacher was surprised at the time. Had they really been out here four hours? She was pulled out of her thoughts as Jerry spoke again, more quietly so only she could hear him.
"Have your companions go back with Mariel. She's a big enough kit that she'll understand. I have one more place I want to show you and it's a beautiful night for it."
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Jerry led FluffyTeacher through a concealed entrance into a dirt wall tunnel at the far side of the hill once her bodyguards and Mariel were out of sight in the other direction. The tunnel led to a small bunmover terminal.
"It'll be a quick five minute trip," was all Jerry would say as he led her aboard.
True to his word, they got off at another small terminal after five minutes. He led her up another dirt wall tunnel and through another disguised entrance back out into the open air. They came out into a fir tree forest. They could see quite well by the full moon. Jerry remained quiet as he hops ahead of her, occasionally glancing behind to make sure she was following him. She could see there were other bunny tracks in the snow.
The forest ended abruptly as they came into a clearing. The other side of the clearing didn't end in more forest, but in a drop-off. Beyond the drop-off and a good fifty or more feet below them was the Atlantic Ocean. The rhythm of the ocean waves crashing against the rocks below was hypnotic. Despite the bright, full moon and its shimmering reflection on the ocean, several constellations could still be seen in the heavens. FluffyTeacher was mesmerized.
"This is where I go for solitude when I need to contemplate tough decisions as I did when I decided to fake Pomerleau's death. Most of our buns know of this place, but all respect every otherbunelse's privacy here on the Golden Coast as this area is sometimes referred to. The humans also call this the Cutler Coast. These cliffs stretch for another five miles to our east. It's all beautiful and is public reserve land to remain forever as Frith had created it."
FluffyTeacher couldn't place into words the beauty of this site, still semi-hypnotized by the aura of the setting. "It's breathtaking." She finally manages to whisper.
"Not as breathtaking as the sight before my eyes," Jerry adds.
FluffyTeacher [giggleshimmies] "Why commander, I thought you'd never notice."
(BOINK!) Jerry recovers quickly and continues in a hushed whisper. "There is more out here I want you to see. Come."
Jerry takes her paw and leads her back into the edge of the forest to a trail that parallels the cliffs. They talk quietly for a little while and then remain silent, enjoying nature and each other's company the rest of the night. They cuddle up and watch the sunrise together before heading back to DEWComm.
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FluffyTeacher's body guards look a bit worried upon her and Jerry's return, but she alleviates their fears. They salute her.
"The merchandise has been loaded onto our bunmover. We can depart whenever you are ready."
Leave? So soon? FluffyTeacher sighs to herself. She had relaxed more in the last 24 hours then she had realized. She didn't want this time to end just yet.
Jerry could see her disappointment in her body language. He didn't dare nuzzle her openly in front of her guards, however. Alone above the cliffs was one thing, but not here in front of the lackies. "You are welcome to come visit at any time, though I know how busy your schedule is."
It's all she needed to hear as she perks up out of her self-pity at the quickly passed time. "As you are welcome to visit DenverWarren anytime, Commander." She (bunnyhugs) Jerry and adds in a whisper, "I plan to take you up on that one sometime and I expect you to do likewise." She briefly nibbles on his ear.
(BOINK!) FluffyTeacher's two bodyguards know better then to react to their leader's power over bucks. They get onto the bunmover and prepare to depart. FluffyTeacher turns to follow them.
"One last thing, FluffyTeacher." She pauses and looks back at Jerry. He switches into serious commander-mode in his tone of voice. "If you can't get Pomerleau to see the Light of Frith, spam him for real." (STOMP!)
FluffyTeacher nods. "It will be done," (enthusiasticfluff) "unless my daughter has more. Interesting. Plans for him." (wink) She boards the mover and it pulls out heading back to Colorado.
TBC in a new story next year.
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