First posted 10 June, 1998 to alt.devilbunnies. Just a little tie-in to real-world happenings in Maine that fit in with my Fudd characters.
©1998 by Scott Bernier
First HTML-ized 15 July, 1998 by Scott Bernier
"Have a seat, Sergeant."
"Yes, sir." Eugene took a seat opposite of Major Blake's bun-sized desk which looked out of place in the human-sized office. He placed a folder on Blake's desk. "Here's the latest reports. Mixed news."
Blake nodded as he pawed through the reports as Eugene gave an overview.
"We still have not located the hiding place of this 'Bookbunny' but suspect he's on an island somewhere on the coast. If that is the case, he'll be nearly impossible to find, considering how many islands there are..."
"He's tuned down his propaganda, so we don't need to be in as much of a hurry to find one rabbit. There are more important things our troops can be doing."
"Understood, sir...Rabbit populations throughout northern New England are on a decline according to 'independent' studies out of Orono and Boston. Environmentalists are pushing to put the New England Cottontail on the endangered list." Blake (fangygrinned) as Eugene continued. "You'll find copies of the relevant articles from the Portland Press Herald and Boston Globe in the file.
"Our Fudd allies and their operatives have successfully sabotaged the new Freddie Friehoffer™ snack cake line..."
Blake leaned forward. "You mean the bun-backed
CPC™
"Yes. Somehow our operatives convinced the head of the Freddie division that the Friehoffer label would carry the line and there would be no need to compete in price with Debbie's. The result, the Freddie line came-out at twice the price of comparable Debbie products. Furthermore, production problems with the outside bakeries contracted to make the snack cakes delayed shipping of the products in a timely matter AND what did arrive was defective in some way, such as no icing or filling in the cakes."
"This is a victory, Sergeant. We've hurt the fluffers where it counts, in their bank accounts."
(sigh) "Not completely."
(perkleftear) "What do you mean?"
"Maine's last Maine-owned bakery is no more. Nissen Bakeries has been bought-out by Interstate Bakeries, Inc. Hostess/Wonderbread™ now owns Nissen. Interstate has announced they will immediately expand the new Nissen bakery already being built so that it can handle the increased workload of producing both the Nissen and Hostess lines."
(droopears) "You know what this means?"
(nod) "The entire Freddie's line of pastries may have been a smoke screen to keep us occupied while the buns completed their acquisition of Nissen Bread."
"Exactly what it sounds like, Sergeant. Any other news?"
"Well...Chris is thinking about playing at Wyrmstock."
(shudderfluff) "Dare I ask..."
"He's thinking of doing something similar to his performance in Portland, provided the McGregors are willing to loan him the Amp from Hell™."
1. CPC, Inc.--Corn Products Corporation International. Some of their product lines include: Enteman pastries, Thomas English Muffins, Lenders Bagels, Boboli, Bouyea Fassett-Friehoffer-Orawheat-Arnold-Best Foods Breads, and Heilman's Mayonnaise.