Archive-name: appendix-2a Last-modified: 2002/01/07 Last HTML update: 2002/01/07 Changes since last modification: Clean-up, rearrangement, and add a few new links.
***** ALT.DEVILBUNNIES FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS *****
Supplimental FAQ Part 2a Moxie™
Written on Sep 15, 1994. Updated on 19 Jan and 30 Jul, 1997, 15 Mar, 1999, 1 Jan and 18 Jan, 2000 and 7 Jan, 2002.
Compiled, written, and edited by Scott Bernier
Special thanks to Kylinn for proof reading in 2002.
Q. What in the name of El'mar/Frith is Moxie™?
A. Moxie is a unique soft drink that can be easily found throughout New England
region of the United States, upper New York State and Eastern Pennsylvania. The nation's (and
possibly the world's) oldest soft drink. It was patented in 1884 by Dr. Augustin Thompson, a
Mainah who set up medical practice in Lowell, MA. Some rumors say that he really invented
the stuff as early as 1876, but did not start carbonating it (and patent it) until 1884. At one
time, it was the number one soft drink in the USA. Moxie has its own entry in the Webster's
Dictionary. See the bottom of this FAQ for more information on the real life,
non-alt.devilbunnies history of this soft drink.
Q. What is the role of Moxie™ in the devilbunny war?
A. Moxie burns devilbunnies like acid just like blessed urine (BU) or blessed holy
vanilla extract (BHV). Unlike these other liquid weapons, however, Moxie doesn't need to be
blessed to work.
Q. What's the best way to use Moxie as a anti-devilbunny weapon?
A. There are many ways. Due to its high carbonation, cans of Moxie make
excellent anti-bun grenades. Just shake and toss: the can will rupture upon impact and send
aluminum shrapnel and Moxie spraying in a 3 to 6 foot diameter area. Moxie is excellent in a
supersoaker, doubling the normal firing range of this Fudd weapon due to its high carbonation.
No need to pump your supersoaker when filled with Moxie, it pressurizes itself!
Q. Is there anyway for a devilbunny to protect itself from this liquid
weapon?
A. Bunnyarmor will protect the wearer from Moxie as it does for other liquid
weapons. However, the wearer must take good care of its armor for if there are any cracks or
openings, the Moxie (like any other liquid weapon) can seep through and do damage. The
shrapnel mentioned above has been known on the rare occasion to pierce bunnyarmor. Be
forewarned!
Q. Whoa! Sounds like nasty stuff. What does Moxie taste like?
A. Can't be described. It is a type of root beer, deriving its flavor from gentian
root (and 17 other ingredients). It is not oversweetened like most soft drinks on the market.
Some call it rocket fuel and others describe it as carbonated Ben Gay™. Overall, it has
quite the attitude; though that only kicks in upon hitting the back of the throat. Picture the worst
alcoholic drink you have had, remove the alcohol and keep the terrible taste.
Q. How were the anti-devilbunny properties of Moxie discovered?
A. In August 1994, Texas Tech graduate student, Eugene Pomerleau stepped
outside his office for a Moxie break after posting taunting messages on the alt.devilbunnies
newsgroup, thinking it was just a game. He learned his mistake the hard way when six
devilbunnies attempted to ambush him. In his startlement, he dropped the can of Moxie. It
exploded, spraying the buns. The rest is history.
Q. Is there a cure for Moxie?
A. Yes, but we're not telling the buns. If the stuff gets abused, this neutralizing
agent may (or may not) be revealed to prevent accusations of an Omega Treaty violation. [See
the alt.devilbunnies FAQ Part 3: The Ground Rules for Posting, Rule #1]
Q. What's this rumor about a "bunny-safe" version of Moxie?
A. Some bottlers of Moxie seem to be equal opportunity profiteers. As a result, a
"bunny-safe" version of Moxie has recently appeared on store shelves. This version of Moxie is
usually labeled Diet Moxie™ and is the only version available at the unofficial
alt.devilbunnies IRC sessions. Why any devilbunny would even want to sample this stuff is
beyond my understanding.
Q. Where can I obtain some Moxie?
A. It is readily available throughout New England, portions of New York and
Eastern Pennsylvania at most stores. There are also several outlets on the west coast, especially
in Washington State, that sell Moxie as an 'alternative beverage'. It can also be found
sporadically here and there throughout the country at specialty beverage stores for a premium
price (sometimes as high as $2.00 a 12 once bottle!). Moxie's parent company, Monarch
Beverages, Inc., is located in Atlanta but there are no confirmed reports of Moxie in the Atlanta
area. For a full list of dealers/distributors, go to: http://www.moxie.info
Q. What if I don't live near any of those areas?
A. You can write to the bottlers and order direct. Many of those on the website
above are willing to ship anywhere in the country. Be forewarned that BPS (Bunny Postal
Service - formally UPS) stiffs its customers in shipping costs and considers Moxie a biohazard
and may refuse to deliver it altogether.
Q. What's this rumor I heard about a Moxie and Snapple mix-up?
A. 'Sad' but true. The bottlers of Moxie in Northern New England also bottle
Snapple™ . In September 1994, a batch of Moxie accidentally wound-up in Snapple Ice
Tea bottles. Due to aid agreements with other bottlers to help handle high demand for Snapple,
this camouflaged Moxie was shipped all over the world and resulted in a world-wide recall of
Snapple Ice Tea. [go to the alt.devilbunnies archives and perform a search in October, 1994
using
URGENT IMMEDIATE FACTORY RECALL!!!!! for the subject with OR for
the link between title and author, and m8sab@ttacs.ttu.edu for the author.] It is
unknown
how many buns perished in the incident.
Q. What if I mix Moxie and something else?
A. DON'T. You never know what may happen. It is safe to mix Moxie with
Snapple, as Moxie neutralizes Snapple. But never - and we mean NEVER mix Moxie
and Spam. The results can be unpredictable, as the Lowaski Brothers will confirm and/or deny.
[See the archives for October 1-10, 1994, using The Lowaski's cook-up some trouble as
the Subject with OR as the link between title and author, and
clifton@db.erau.edu for the author. The last segment was written by General LonGears
on 11 October 1994 and was titled: The Lowaski's fail to clean up (FINIS)]
Q. What's this I hear about Moxie and Cutons?
A. It was discovered during the Dunwich Battle of '96 that Moxie neutralizes the
effects of Cuton exposure almost instantly. Just a little on the face of the victim being affected
by a Cuton blast is all it takes.
Q. Where can I learn more?
A. Well there are those who don't know about the war, who have put-up a couple
of pages on the world wide web explaining the history of this UNCUTE soft drink. Check-out
the following:
The New England Moxie Congress Homepage: http://www.xensei.com/users/iraseski
Moxieland and Moxie World: http://www.moxieland.com
Remember that they don't know about the war. The few members of their group who have heard of us think we're just another newsgroup and the war is just make-believe.
Thus ends FAQ 2a--Moxie. Copyright: 1994-2001 by Scott Bernier
Permission is granted to reprint this FAQ for PERSONAL USE only.
NOTE: Moxie™ is a registered trademark of Monarch, Inc. of Atlanta, GA. The author/maintainer, an avid Moxie addict, has intended no infringement on their rights in writing/maintaining this FAQ.