Description: Brown eye, brown hair, male human, 6ft (183 cm), approximately 185 lbs (84.4
kg), average build.
Allegiance: Army of Fudd
Current rank: Major in command of Maine Fudds
The above human stands before you wearing steel-toed boots, flannels, and an LL Fudd Mad Bomber's™ hat. He's holding a Scout Axe over one shoulder and sipping from a can of Moxie™.
"So ya want to join the Maine Fudds, eh?" (Assuming you are not a bunny)
"Well, the first thing you'll need other than fire-axe practice, is shotgun shooting practice. And one of the best virtual ranges we've found for practicing bunny-shooting is through Division Software's Praire Dog Hunt for Windows series."
"No, just visiting," you reply. He frowns for a moment and then offers you a tour while talking about himself and the Maine Fudds, perhaps telling a war story or two (see Moxie's stories page).
You stare over at the big burly men in wool pants and checkered flannel shirts swinging double-bit wood axes with ease and ask your host about them.
"Who are they?" (Eugene gives you a surprised look while he points to the men in question) "They are members of the Lumberjack Fudds, some of the fiercest bunny fighters east of the Rockies and north of Texas. Go ahead and ask them about their colorful background, but" (hush voice) "don't mention to them anything about Bangor's former minor league baseball team, The Blue Ox." (Eugene shows you a promotional poster.) "For it was a bunny plot."
Do you approach the Lumberjack Fudds?
"What's all this about Moxie™?" you ask.
Eugene turns to you. "Ayuh, they don't call me the Moxie Man for nothin'." He hands you a can of Moxie™ (Ask for Bunny-safe Moxie™ if you are a fluffer!), you open it and sniff it. The assault on your nose seems to be a cross among rocket fuel, root beer, and Liquid Ben Gay™. You close your eyes and take a sip, swishing it around your mouth before swallowing....not to bad, sort of a cross between a root beer and a cream soda. Then you swallow and choke as the after kick hits the back of your throat and continues to assault you long after you have swallowed, worse then the cheapest rotgut whiskey you've ever tried! Any cuteness you may have felt is quickly purged from your system.
Eugene smiles in amusement. "That happens to everyone the first time. By the third sip you'll eithah be hooked on it for life or will nevah want to see the stuff again. As for what Moxie™'s role is in this war, check-out the Official alt.devilbunnies Moxie™ FAQ. Or if you wish to learn the full history behind the soft drink by those who know nothin' about the wah effort, you can check-out the Moxie™ Congress Home Page or perhaps the newsgroup alt.soda.moxie, though the newsgroup has been rather dead lately. I'm sure the fluffahs have blocked propagation of that newsgroup in areas they control. If you're visiting form another Fudd facility and need to restock, you can find a list of distributors at Moxie World and a lot of other useful information about Moxie ™.
The after effects of the drink have made you decide to call it a day and you head for the door with Eugene wishing you a good day.
Back to Moxie Man's alt.devilbunnies Home Page.
Return to Maine Fudds HQ main page.
Last updated 22 February, 2002
Contents © 1996-2002 by Scott Bernier
Moxie™ is a trademark of Monarch, INC, Atlanta, Georgia.
The Mad Bomber's Hat™ is an actual product available from L.L.Bean, usually in their winter/Christmas catalogs.